it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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