i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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