a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
