let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
