so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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