Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
