handjob tips. give me some.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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