My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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