I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
