We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
