he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
