I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
