theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
