I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
