I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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