I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i need some magic done to my vagina
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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