Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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