You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
