We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
