Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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