if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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