LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
