Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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