If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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