everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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