If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
