Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
