Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
