Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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