Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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