Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
