All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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