He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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