alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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