ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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