Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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