You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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