Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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