haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
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I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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