So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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