Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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