that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
