party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
