living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
