he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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