I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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