How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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