I'm so fucking centered right now
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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