The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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