you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize