this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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