Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize