I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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