apparently the secret to your success is patron
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
