you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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