yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
