It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
