She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
