I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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