just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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