too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
