Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
